Experiences of violence and abuse: When the soul no longer knows a safe place
Violence does not always end the moment the perpetrator leaves or the door slams shut. Sometimes it lingers within the body: in a sound that suddenly fills you with fear, in a gaze that comes too close, in a night that brings no sleep. Those who have experienced violence or abuse often bear scars that others cannot see.
Perhaps you tell yourself: „It was a long time ago, after all.“ Or: „Others have been through worse.“ But pain doesn’t get any less just because you compare it to something else. What happened to you matters. Your reaction isn’t an overreaction. Your fear isn’t misplaced. Your soul is simply trying to come to terms with something it should never have had to go through. At times like these, a Pastoral care helpline a first tentative step, when words are still uncertain and trust has yet to develop.
Violence can take many forms. It can be loud or quiet. It can involve hitting, humiliating, controlling, threatening, shaming or overstepping boundaries. Abuse often leaves behind not only memories, but also questions: Why me? Should I have fought back? Why didn’t I say anything?
These questions can be agonising. But responsibility lies with the perpetrator of the violence — not with the person who was harmed. It is not your fault that someone disregarded your boundaries. You are not tainted. You are not worth any less. What happened says something about the wrongdoing, not about your dignity.
Many of those affected experience not only emotional pain, but also a crisis of faith. Perhaps you’re wondering why God has allowed this to happen. Perhaps you can’t pray because every word feels too heavy. Perhaps you’re angry with God — yet at the same time you long for him to hold you. It’s okay to feel this tension. Faith does not mean glossing over pain. God does not demand that you cover up your suffering with pious phrases. In the Psalms, people cry out, lament, ask questions, doubt and weep. That, too, is part of faith. A Pastoral care hotline can help to give voice to this inner conflict without having to come up with ready-made answers straight away.
Many people go a long time without talking about the violence or abuse they have experienced. Not because they don’t care, but because shame, fear or threats hold them back. Sometimes they have been led to believe that nobody would believe them. Sometimes speaking out feels more dangerous than keeping quiet. But silence can make you feel lonely. It can feed the lie that you have to bear it all alone. Yet healing often begins not with big steps, but with a safe first sentence: „Something happened to me.“ Or: „I can’t pretend any longer that everything is fine.“ Especially Telephone counselling It can be quite accessible here, because you don’t have to sit directly opposite someone and yet you’re still not on your own.
Yes. Even if hope feels like a foreign concept right now. Hope doesn’t mean that everything will get better straight away. Nor does it mean that you have to forget. Hope can start very small: with a safe conversation, with someone who believes what you say, with a moment when you feel once again that you are more than what has been done to you. You’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to seek some distance. You’re allowed to accept help. You’re allowed to take your time.
A sensitive Faith & life counselling can help you move beyond seeing your story solely through the lens of the hurt you’ve experienced. Violence and abuse can leave deep scars, but they must not have the final say over your life. Your dignity has not been destroyed. Your worth has not been lost. Your voice can be heard again. Perhaps today, only a small step is possible. A thought. A prayer without fancy words. A phone call. Yet sometimes the journey back to life begins precisely there: where a person is no longer left alone in the dark.




